Call Me By My Name

Call Me By My Name

For fellow foreign friends in a community that cannot pronounce or write our names

My first name is Minh Anh. It’s a two-words first name and it has been causing me a lot of problems as an international student in the United States. Legally speaking, my first name is Anh or Thi Minh Anh, depending on the context. Some documentation wants the name to match the passport and my full name is Phan Thi Minh Anh, so it must be with all the words; others only allows for 1 word in the first name section. It’s one of the confusing things of living abroad, but also a chance to wonder at the differences in our languages.

I’ve seen many people use a hyphen in between the letters, like Minh-Anh. I do not like that. That’s not how I write my name in my native language. Sometimes, it’s impossible to keep the name intact, for example, our fellow friends from Chinese or Korean or other countries that do not use the Latin alphabet. But I’d like to think that my name is simple enough for people to just say it with two words. I do not care about pronunciation as long as you do not call me by “Minh” only.

My boundary-setting skill is also another reason why people do not say my name. I do not correct people after they call me “Minh”. At times, for example when I reply to email, I just brush it off like it is not a big deal. If it continues to happen for a while, yes, it’ll become a problem. I’m currently reading the book Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab and I had these realizations.

My name is important to me.

I want you to call me by what I prefer.

This need is so easy that I believe anyone can do it if I give them the chance to, by correcting people and stating my boundaries clear. If they cannot respect that, I believe it means they do not want to be around me. And I would want to be close with people who respect and see me as who I am.

So I want you to call me by my name. And I’ll correct you if you say anything otherwise.